How to Make the Best First Impression to Win Over an Interviewer

You need to be prepared if you intend to make the best impression on a potential employer.

In the competitive world that we live in, the first impression that someone has of you could either help or hinder your career.  Therefore, your best chance of success or failure rests on those crucial few seconds upon meeting the interviewer to determine your future.

Give Yourself Extra Time for the Restroom to Evaluate Your Appearance

You need to arrive at least fifteen minutes before your interview to take care of your appearance and fill out any application and related forms.  You don’t want to jeopardize your chances by walking into the interview without thoroughly inspecting that professional image you radiate for public view.

Besides combing or brushing your hair that might have been wind-blown, it is important to inspect your outfit.  Look for any buttons that may have opened, any zipper that may have come undone, any straps from your bra, camisole or slip that might be falling and properly adjust them.  Pull down any riding sweater, dress or skirt.  You don't want to accidentally reach for a strap while you're talking or get up from your chair with an unzipped pair of pants only to expose yourself, which would cause untold embarrassment.

Carrying a few safety pins and a small bottle of hand lotion can save you from disaster if those straps keep falling, the zipper breaks or any static cling that your dress or skirt may encounter.  Rub some hand lotion between the palms of your hands and then pat your hose, camisole or slip helps.  After all, accidents happen when you least expect them.  It is to your advantage to be prepared just in case.

Make sure blouses, tops and shirts are all tucked in and as wrinkle free as possible.  

A dark suit, dress, or top can be revealing if you have any dandruff or lint sticking to your outfit.  Brush anything off that you don’t want that interviewer to notice. When the interviewer’s eyes keep wandering to the dandruff on your shoulder or the lint or fuzz on your outfit, this is hardly the kind of attention that you want if you hope to win a second interview.

Don’t go too heavy with makeup or fragrance.  In fact, you may want to skip perfume for your interview and aim for more natural, but polished look.  Smile and look for any lipstick on your teeth.

If you wear eyeglasses, check the lens for smudges.  Smudges can make you look sloppy and careless.

Those that habitually wear earrings might want to check that both were put on.  In a nervous rush, women have been known to forget.  If so, you want to take that lone earring off before you head into that important interview.

While Waiting in the Outer Office Reception Area Mentally Prepare

No matter how nervous you may feel inside, try to mentally prepare by picturing yourself already working in the position as you wait to be called for the interview.  Imagine your desk or office and what it will look like in your mind’s eye.  Now see yourself behind the desk, perhaps, typing on the computer or answering the phone or some other task that you would be doing.  The mind works in pictures.  The more that you see the image of you performing that job that you are seeking, the more reality that you give the energy.  The result can translate into more confidence.

Smile and Make Eye Contact When the Interviewer Calls Your Name

A warm smile and maintaining eye contact will show interest and how in touch you are to others.  It is welcoming and a way to connect with people with how open and approachable you are as a person or candidate to work with.

Body Language Says a Lot About You as a Potential Employee As Well

Hold your head high and maintain straight posture when you head toward the interview.  Shake his or her hand with a firm grip while maintaining eye contact.  Walk confidently as if you already have the position.  When you sit, be attentive and stay poised. Being too relaxed once you take a seat or fidgeting in your chair can give the wrong impression.

Be Confident and Upbeat About What You Can Bring to the Position

Even if you feel other candidates might have more experience or education than you do, don’t go into the interview taking that thought with you.  Otherwise, you might as well turn around and go home.  

If you don’t believe in yourself, then you have no right to be in the interviewer’s office.  Remember, you were called to interview because you had the education or skills that attracted the employer in the first place.  Your job now is to reinforce those qualities that caught the company’s initial attention and expand upon them and your achievements with energy and excitement of what out of the box thinking that you can bring to the position.

Prepare Ahead and Research the Company

You can always stand apart from the crowd and your competition by walking into the interview as informed about the company as you can.  Find out some relevant facts and weave them through your answers will impress once the interview begins. Employers love knowing that you took the imitative because it shows what drive and dedication you will bring to the position.

Show Enthusiasm and Be Attentive Through the Interview Process

  
Listen and do not interrupt the interviewer. When it is your turn to speak, ask your questions.  Don’t be shy about sharing ideas to demonstrate your grasp on the position.

Emphasize Your Strengths 

An interview is your time to shine as a potential employee.  Therefore, it is crucial to sell yourself to the interviewer by pointing out your strengths.  Perhaps, you are a “people” person that has a winning personality and are a good conversationalist that can get others to open up to you easily.  Then again, planning and organizing details for the large picture is something that you might excel in or always be the one that others come to for creative ideas that help to get projects started after the initial concept.  Whatever those strengths may be, share them with the interviewer while you have the opportunity.

Follow Up After the Interview Can Give You an Edge

Everyone likes to be appreciated.  Sending a thank you note to the interviewer for taking the time to speak with you can be helpful.  A little thoughtful note can single you out from the herd of others competing for that same position.  It also shows the interviewer exactly how interested you are to work for their company by making sure your name is remembered.

Perseverance Pays Off

Despite how well the interview went, you may not get the position.  Of course, you will take it as a personal rejection and blame yourself for something or another.  Whatever the reason was, not getting the job was not your fault.  After all, for every corporate job, it is estimated that 250 others hoped to snag that job also.  You, my friend, at least made it to the top 20 or so.  Take pride in that and consider that interview was your practice run.  The next job will be yours!  

How to Strengthen Your Emotions If You Overreact Easily by What Others Say

You can miss a lot of living when you're overly sensitive.

Every individual reacts differently to a situation.  Some of us are more resilient than others to quickly bounce back from any negativity they may encounter.  For others, any harsh exchanges or criticisms can be more devastating when it does not need to be. 

If you are overly sensitive, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.  Instead, it just shows a highly-developed capacity to pick up on other people’s feelings, which in turn can cause you needless inner pain or self-doubt.  How you coped with certain situations may need viewed in a new light in order to change your response.  Therefore, let me share some suggestions that can help keep you from getting too defensive.

Walk Away Before Overreacting

The next time that someone strikes out at you with a jab that hurts, here is what you may want to do.  Take in a few deep breaths to keep calm.  By doing so,  you’re allowing yourself to steady your heart rate and gain more control of the situation.  Thus, you can use that time to invent an excuse to leave the conversation.  You are not running away to coward because of what was said.  You are simply leaving to think and then ponder the words carefully over a period of a few hours or the next day before immediately reacting.  

Watch Out for Criticism From a Self-Appointed Expert

How many of us have a friend or co-worker that always jumps in with “expert” advice about something that they have no real experience with.  You know the type, the single career woman that criticizes something that your child or husband did that never would have happened if this was her child or husband.  In all likelihood, this “expert” wasn’t even invited to the conversation that you were having with someone else, but just had to dominate the conversation and show her importance.  

Instead of letting this “expert” unnerve you, you need to remember where this advice is coming from, a person inexperienced in child rearing or marriage.  What this “expert” brings to the conversation are just theory and not real life experience.  Besides that, this “expert” doesn’t know real details about you or your child or husband.  Listen politely, but take the criticism with a grain of salt.  If you hear something in particular that could ring true, then later discuss it with someone you trust that knows you well  to find out their opinion.  

Reinforcing  the Hurt Through Supportive Friends Is Not Productive

Friends are wonderful for emotional support.  The problem of constantly sharing your hurt feelings with them is it heightens anxiety.  Though it gives you an emotional release, the focus can be more on the pain that it caused to keep it foremost in your mind without any real answers.  You can be too wrapped up into making more of what just happened to have any opportunity to view it with a clearer head.  Instead, you could constantly be going through the same loop of telling your story and experiencing that anger and pain over and over again.  Nothing productive is ever gained when you keep yourself a prisoner of those painful thoughts.  

Perhaps, you might try a new tactic the next time by taking a walk, reading, or listening to some music to forget about the problem temporarily. Sometimes, we become so engrossed into our pain that it can be the only thing that we see.  When you give yourself a break and concentrate on something else for a little while, you may be surprised at answers or thoughts that will come to you when your mind is at rest.

You might also try meditation to help clear your mind.  Learning how to compartmentalize the problem and separate the pain from its hold on you can give you the right prospective that is healthier that you may have lacked before.

Know the Right Words When You Need to Respond Helps

There are times when you can’t help but feel the need to respond to some unwanted remark.  Therefore, you can coax more clarity of that person by saying, “Excuse me?”  This will give that person time to think or rephrase the comment, which may change the entire meaning or present his or her point in a clearer, more understandable fashion.

Another phrase to dig deeper into what the person just said is asking, “What did you mean?”  When you give that person a question like that, he or she needs to think what brought that comment on.  Incorporating a question like this can help filter out the truth from what may have been simply a misguided comment without any real substance.

Something else that is extremely helpful when you’re overly sensitive is asking that person who just hurt you to explain why he or said made that remark.   Opinions can change or stand when that person gives an explanation.  Taking the time to do this can give you more insight to better understand why this comment was said.  

Finally, you can just be honest and tell that person that he or she hurt your feelings by that comment.  Doing so, you are putting your feelings on the line and giving him or her the perfect opportunity to remedy the situation with an apology or clarification.

Strengthening Emotions Takes Practice

Hopefully, the information that I provided will help better prepare you to handle those rough patches more appropriately instead of out of proportion the next time they happen.  

How to Improve Your Listening Skills to Be More Understanding

Real listening strengthens relationships.

Have you ever found your mind wandering while listening to a friend going on about a problem or something new that happened? Maybe you are distracted with a new obstacle at home or work that currently took priority over your attention span. Though no one intentionally tries to miss parts of a conversation, it happens more often than you realize since the average person has only an eight second attention span.  Therefore, in order to be a better friend, co-worker, lover or employee, then it’s important to improve your listening skills.   

Taking the time to really hear what is said can show deeper understanding and compassion, not to mention respect for what that person is going through.  Being an adept listener can strengthen relationships on many fronts because you are someone that really hears the words by listening effectively.  In return, you show others that you are worthy of their trust.

After all, real listening is an art.  It is also is one that needs to be practiced to fully comprehend the difference it makes to better lives.  Thus, it always is helpful to know where to start.

Make Sure to Understand What Is Being Said

When it is your turn to talk, try to sum up all that was said first in your mind before voicing any opinion.  Repeat back something that your friend just shared could help you get further clarification without appearing that you weren’t listening.  

For example, maybe your friend is hurt that she wasn’t invited to another mutual friend’s wedding. Tell her, you hear how angry she is but the invitation might have been delayed because of the new mailman or her recent move.  Reminding her of the possibilities helps her and you to keep your mind on what she is saying, a sign of a thoughtful listener.

If you happened to miss something because what was said doesn’t make sense to you, then ask for a clarification.  However, by all means, do not judge.  You are there right now solely to listen.  

Verify What Your Friend Is Trying to Get Across

Sometimes, the best things that you can for do for this friend is by lending a sympathetic ear.  Understand what this person is going through by mirroring what you learned back when answering.  Words such as “I can understand” or “I see why you’re so upset” shows that friend you understand the place she’s coming from.  

Learn to Hear Between the Words 

Are you hearing any missed clues or a pattern that could suggest how your friend really feels?  Learning to pick up on unspoken words also will mark you as a good listener.

Take Inflection and Body Language Into Consideration

Being a better listener requires tweaking your observation skills.  Examining your friend’s tone of voice relaying this story to you and body language can reveal a lot of hidden emotions. If your friend’s voice is excitable and keeps getting louder or her arms are crossed defensively across her chest silently also speaks the truth.

Think Carefully About Interrupting

One of the worst offenses a good listener can display is interrupting during the conversation.  When doing so, you are refusing to hear what that friend is trying to say, which is selfish.  After all, the friend is revealing this problem or situation to you.  Therefore, do allow her to finish and show that you understand.

Don’t Rush to Offer Advice

Regardless of how tempted you may be to offer opinions, proceed with caution.  A real friend doesn’t hide the truth as she sees it, but sometimes that opinion is not asked for or appreciated it.  Think before responding.  Show extra thoughtfulness with something like “Let me give this some quick thought,” to express that you’re taking time to come up with a worthwhile solution.

Avoid Rattling on About Your Own Similar Problem 

Allow your friend to say all that she has on her mind.  Yet, don’t think that she necessarily feels like hearing all the times that you had the same thing happen to you.  No matter how good your intentions may be, your friend may only want to air her thoughts with another soul as a sounding board.  If you have questions, ask them instead.  However, she will tell you when she wants that opinion in her own time.

Keep Romance Alive--Start on Valentine's Day!

There are countless ways to show your love to keep romance burning.

Sometimes, we get too involved with work, chores, kids, and a million other things that crossover and distract us.  However, Valentine's Day is the perfect time to show your partner some true appreciation. 

Leave little love notes around the house where your husband will be sure to find them.  Try slipping one under his pillow or in the pocket of his coat jacket.  Tell him you miss him and can't wait to see him later.

Be sure to get up first before the family.  Get dressed and groomed because taking care of being a woman is just as important as a being a mommy!  Husbands notice when you're doing your best to always look attractive for them. 

Despite the kids arguing over the television or something else, it always pays to never let a  husband leave the house without you walking him to the door.  Always send him off with a kiss--not a criticism.  This ritual is important and just another small way to show him you care.

As silly as you may think, husbands will remember to call you from the office just to hear your voice, if possible.  Appreciating your partner will be returned. 

Valentine's Day is the perfect time to start.  You don't have to go overboard on fancy expensive gifts.  However, a small box of chocolates or his favorite meal can mean the difference in your relationship.  

Remember, keeping romance burning takes work.  To be sure, your efforts won't go unnoticed.  The passion brewing between you and your partner can only get stronger!